We are grateful to God for His faithfulness over the last 20 years.
Confronting Sexism in the Church: Heather Matthews' Story
Church of the Savior member Heather Matthews recently released Confronting Sexism in the Church (InterVarsity Press, 2024). In the opening chapter she tells part of her journey.
I was one of those kids who was at church every time the doors were open, not because my parents forced me to attend but because I loved church. I came to faith in Jesus as a child, and when I was in high school, I sensed a call from God into ministry.
I was excited to follow and serve God, but I had no vision for what this looked like as a young woman. While my church affirmed that men and women could receive a call from God, there appeared to be no opportunities for a woman to follow and develop that call. Since I had never in my life seen a female pastor, I certainly couldn’t imagine myself as a pastor. It seemed obvious that God wanted me to be a missionary. …
Fast-forward a few years. … My fiancé and I were negotiating our future plans after graduation. I didn’t realize at the time how strong the messages were from the competing spheres of my life. As a female student at Northwestern University, I was surrounded by smart and talented women who were ready to take the world by storm. At the same time, I was part of a Christian group on campus [in which] leaders and students talked often about male headship and female submission, and that a woman’s highest calling was to be a wife and a mother.
I felt paralyzed. How could I follow my calling to be a missionary doctor while also supporting my husband in his career? It was clear from family and friends that my fiancé’s career was most important. I ended up giving up my dream of becoming a missionary doctor. I took the route of following my husband as a supportive wife. After college, I enrolled in seminary instead of medical school.
I noticed immediately that other students, mostly men, would not look at me in the eye or speak to me. I felt small and invisible. I could not be my full self, a confident and accomplished student with plans for my future in ministry. I was expected to fit into a traditional “pastor’s wife” role.
After three years of seminary, I graduated summa cum laude with two master’s degrees, but I had trouble finding internships and a ministry job because many churches only hired men. Although my degree required me to have “field education” credits for graduation, my church would not let me teach an adult Sunday school class without my husband coteaching with me. Even the job placement office at the seminary declined to assist me because they didn’t have any employers interested in interviewing women.
Attending seminary broke me like no experience in my life had. I realized something was wrong when I found myself crying on a regular basis, and I am not prone to crying. Christian institutions and Christian individuals were actively restricting the abundant life that I thought was available to me, and doing so in the name of Jesus.
—From Confronting Sexism in the Church. Reprinted by kind permission of InterVarsity Press
Meet the Larson Family
The Larson Family, Eric, Liz, Zeke, and Eli
Eric and I have the joy of living at Jubilee Village with our sons, Zeke (age 4) and Eli (age 2). Jubilee Village (“JV”) is a residential program run by Outreach, which provides affordable housing for young moms, as well as wraparound case management services. We serve as “houseparents” at JV, which means we build community, offer relational support, and crisis intervention a few nights a week. During our weekly “community meal,” the entire building gathers for dinner, conversation, games, and life skills activities. Our family has happened to live in a series of different “communal living” situations over the last five years, and these experiences have deeply enriched our family’s relational structure, sense of communal belonging, and faith in the Triune God of love. Our strong value for community is one of the many reasons why we love living at JV.
When I came into JV, I anticipated the relationships with the women to feel similar to past “client relationships” I’ve had in other social services jobs over the last decade. However, I realized quickly that these relationships are quite different. My client relationships were (rightly and healthily) guarded by clear professional boundaries, where activities like talking about my personal life or cooking food for someone simply did not happen. The women at Jubilee Village, however, are not my “clients.” We do share life together in many ways: our kids play together, they come by to borrow band-aids or eggs, we take each other’s laundry out of the dryer, they see how our marriage works. Though there will always be some power dynamic between myself and the residents, this shared life and, specifically, my shared motherhood with these women, does help to “level the playing field.” There is no pretense of superiority to hide behind when we both know we share the same struggles of how to mother while also taking care of ourselves, when we have shared the gruesome details of childbirth, and when the walls are just thin enough that I know anyone can hear when one of my kids is having a meltdown, or when I myself have lost my patience.
That being said, I felt so moved and encouraged by Fr. Kevin’s sermon on November 11 on the New and Improved Earth, I realized it helped put words to my experience of living at Jubilee Village. I believe Jubilee Village is a place where “heaven is coming to earth” (the main theme of Fr. Kevin’s sermon), and I feel this most acutely during community meal. I do not say that in a romantic or idyllic way–lots of people (including myself) can show up to community meal feeling worn out, not willing or able to participate or contribute to “community building” with much energy or joy. Sometimes there are awkward conversations and lingering pauses in conversations. Nonetheless there is a deeply humanizing, mysteriously sacred, and distinctly vulnerable element to this liturgy of community meal: of cooking for a crowd, taking your seat around the giant table to eat together and share our imperfect lives together.
Many of the women that come to JV are escaping hardships of various kinds: abusive relationships, domestic violence, homelessness, addiction, or exploitation. But at community meal, none of these past experiences are stamped upon the women. In social services, there can be a tendency or an inclination to “pathologize” those whom you are working with–to see them primarily through their weaknesses. At JV, I have noticed time and again that houseparents and staff relate to the residents from a fundamentally different starting point than pathology. The joy of living at JV is the privilege of bearing witness to the journeys these mothers are on, these journeys that are inherently marked by their daily choice to sacrifice in order to build a life where they and their child can flourish, where their inherent worth and dignity can be recognized first by themselves and secondly in the new relationships they form in hope. It is our prayer that the beauty, goodness, and love of God may be known and felt by all the women and children who call Jubilee Village their home. We so appreciate Savior's regular prayers for the ministry of JV - thank you!
p.s. Jubilee Village is regularly looking for volunteers and donations to the resource room; please let me know if you are interested in learning more about this opportunity!
Jan Bruesch: How I Met Jesus, and How I Live with Pain
How DID YOU MEET JESUS?
Jan Bruesch is a long time Savior Member.
There have been 2 guiding factors in my life that Jesus has used to draw me in closer to him. The first is ALPHA. I have worked with ALPHA for decades. Those years were times that I was most in touch with my faith. I have worked with ALPHA Chicago, and ALPHA National. I attended conferences, talks, and conventions which even led me to see the Pope! Over those decades God grew me in my faith through the powerful witness of ALPHA.
I ran the ALPHA course at Calvary Episcopal Church in Lombard, my second church home, and my faith and knowledge of Jesus grew immensely. When I started to participate in ALPHA, I realized that I had never really known Jesus. I had been a church goer all my life, but it was my involvement with ALPHA where I saw other people’s lives transformed, and in turn my life was transformed. I remember vividly, it was the Sunday of the Transfiguration in February, and I went up to the priest and said, “Donald, I am on the mountain top, and I don’t want to come down!” It felt as if I was being Transfigured up on the mountain with Jesus.
It was during the second ALPHA course that I helped lead at church that a man named John attended and shared that he was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He was told that he only had 12 weeks to live, which wouldn’t have even been long enough for him to finish the course. Fr. Donald assured him that “we” would journey with him. I knew in my heart that I was the one that would journey with John since it was my responsibility to lead the lay ministry. John kept coming back week after week, and I got to know him very well. The doctors gave John 12 weeks to live, and God gave him 12 months. He attended 3 more ALPHA courses with us. His presence was important and during his illness he served the group so diligently. He even helped to start a prayer blanket ministry, of which he was the first recipient. On his deathbed, John expressed his life had been changed and he attributed this change to his participation on ALPHA. I personally saw that change happen. I saw Jesus minister through my dying friend. It was one of the strongest times in my life that I encountered Our Lord. I look at John’s photo often when I am struggling, and I remember John’s final months. I think “Lord, you were there. I see you at work.” It has been 20 years since those first days at ALPHA. Things have changed. I have changed. I know that Jesus is here for me, and I feel His presence.
How DO YOU LIVE WITH PAIN?
2 years ago, in August 2021 I had an accident. I fell and found myself in a rehabilitation center called Belmont. Just like John I encountered Jesus during my suffering. The most prominent way was in other people ministering to me. Especially my dear friend, Ada. She visited me 2-3 times a week and called every day. She even did my laundry, even though the facility would do it there for me. Many others gathered around me as well and their prayers for me were answered so vividly. I believe that I would still be at Belmont if not for the prayers of the faithful. The first time I was able to return to Church of the Savior, people came up to me that I didn’t even know, and they said they were praying for me. The power of their prayer was very apparent. I could see God’s work in my life…and in their lives!
Now, I am permanently disabled from my accident, and I am learning to cope with the body that God has given me. I am learning to live with the restrictions that I have, although I grieve the loss of the things that I used to be able to do. This leads me to the second influential tool that God has used to draw me into Himself. It is the National Order of Daughters of the King. I have been a Daughter since 1987.They have a motto which states,
For His Sake…
I am but one, but I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But I can do something.
What I can do, I ought to do.
What I ought to do,
By the grace of God, I will do.
Lord, what will you have me do?
I often find that I say this motto now. “What would you have me do? I can’t do everything, but I can do something.” I know that God has something for me to do. The Daughters of the King is not a social club, but a lifetime vow. A vow of prayer, service, and evangelism. I will continue to follow the voice of the Lord diligently in the face of suffering, just as my friend John.
Resource List: Living in God’s Family as a Gay Person
Resource List
By Fr. Kevin
Following my sermon on Living in God’s Family as a Gay Person, some people asked for more resources.
On reading the Bible
· If you want a quick overview of the biblical verses in question, see What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality?
· If you’ve wondered or heard, “Christians ignore so many commands in the Bible, like executing people for breaking the Sabbath, but still condemn gay sex. Aren’t you just picking what you want?” see Tim Keller’s blogpost, “Making Sense of Scripture’s ‘Inconsistency’.”
·If you’ve wondered, “But the church has moved on overturning slavery and in freeing women to serve as leaders, why shouldn’t we move on homosexual behavior for believers?” see William Webb’s book, Slaves, Women, and Homosexuals.
· If you’ve wondered, “But what about same-sex marriage?” see Preston Sprinkle’s book, Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?
On making the church a welcoming place
· 2 celibate gay Christians talked about their experiences on the C4SO podcast: Wesley Hill on Human Sexuality and the Church; and Pieter Valk on a Traditional Sexual Ethic.
· Costly Obedience: What We Can Learn from the Celibate Gay Christian Community by Mark Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets
· The websites Spiritual Friendship; Equip; Revoice; and The Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender.